Be With Me

'Be With Me' was almost what I'd expected it to be. The 44min film tells of how mother Lori Cairns raises her son JR who is diagnosed with autism at the age of two and told he will be institutionalised by adulthood. Lori, determined to prove the doctors wrong, implements an experimental educational regime to ensure that her son avoids the fate set before him.


Through her own sister's admission, it was not a regime anyone could have implemented. Hiding the toys that JR would become transfixed on, kicking his cars out of their ordered parallel and telling him that his tendencies are weird, it's almost cruel. When we meet JR as a teenager he seems like any normal boy. Whether this is down to his mother's techniques, the intense insights and efforts of the therapists that worked with him, his sister's support or the transition through puberty, who knows?

I can't fault the film on many counts although at times it did feel a little invasive. Although Lori and her friends seemed so willing to tell of their success, JR was less enthused and by the time we face the family sitting down to watch old home videos of JR as a child, we feel a little uncomfortable. It's as though he is ashamed and his mother does nothing to deny it. Instead she jumps at the chance to tell him how much work she put in to helping him. Instead she toasts the therapists that worked with him. Not once does she express that she feels proud of him or any gratitude that he exists as part of her life. As an executive producer of the film, it's quite apparent that Lori's film was always supposed to be about the therapy that JR went through but similarly, it became very much about her.

I'm sure she is a loving mother, how else would she have kept up with the process of potty training and private sessions and enforcing lessons every day? The film just did not portray this side of her and therefore left us feeling a little bitter and uncomfortable, as though we have intruded.

I loved the reconstructions to support the recollections of the contributors. Without these I think the film would have suffered but they were filmed and implemented well and the film was better for it.

I suppose that my criticism is that for a film that talks about JR and his upbringing, there wasn't nearly enough insight from him. It was a film about his mother and of course, her longing for him to truly 'be with her'. This made it hard for us to recognise where our loyalties and admiration should be placed and where the story was headed. With JR's reaction to witnessing his childhood, the ending leaves us a little underwhelmed at the lack of positive insight towards him directly from his mother. The lack of an interview with JR almost prevents us from finding closure in the completion of the film and you never really get to see for yourself, the results of his upbringing. It would be nice to know what happens next as he ventures into the world of college and independence.

Overall, a great insight into how educational methods and understanding have transformed within 16yrs and an inspiring story, even if it leaves us a little underwhelmed/dissatisfied.

IMAGE RIGHTS RESERVED BY MICHAEL TERRILL