Wednesday 16 March 2016

Professor Green: Suicide and Me

'Suicide and me' does a lot for the image of mental health. Professor Green (Stephen Manderson) brings it within our reach, lets us know that even the best of us have a relationship with a struggle for self-worth and happiness.

sheerluxe.com
It certainly identified with me. I struggled with finding happiness when I first moved to London and even more in telling people how I felt. The day I knew I needed help was when I first self-harmed, which, alongside suicide and eating disorders, is one of the most misunderstood acts of depression, both by those who have inflicted it upon themselves, and by those who haven't. To those who cut, it's a coping mechanism, a symbolic image that separates the pain and channels your negative feelings. To those who don't, it's a sign of weakness, attention seeking, a cry for help. I would never have shown anyone my cuts, it was my way of coping not of seeking attention. Manderson does well to open up these kinds of conversations around suicide and throw away the taboo to discover the reality of what's going on inside. He discovers that although these acts are too often seen as selfish, to the sufferer, it is often the opposite. A way to make things better, to relieve the burden on their families, to end the negative cycle.

Stephen explores what happens when we are unable to speak up about our troubles and share them, as well as exploring the negative thought processes that can lead to suicide. Spaces like the Maytree play integral roles in changing the way we approach conversations around suicide and mental health issues. Showing approaches like this, is why this programme, among others, is so important. (http://www.maytree.org.uk/)

mirror.co.uk
There has to be change in the way we, as a society, tackle the hard times, talk about depression, about ill mental health, about suicide. Only by doing this, can we go any way towards preventing it. I've learned not to set the bar too high, not to expect anything and be happily surprised when good things come. I work hard, dedicate myself to projects, to my career, to my family, friends and my partner, who was the first person to really understand. I also allow more time for the things that I enjoy, like playing football and photography. I learned that 'It's ok to cry, it's ok to talk about it' as Manderson's relatives echo. Everyone has bad days, but the good days will come.

tv.bt.com
This isn't a review on the quality of the programme, but instead a view on the issue at hand. We can't keep quiet about suicide, keep suppressing our feelings, swallowing our words. The fear is that when we are exposed to self-harm and to suicide, we're more vulnerable to it. But with discussion, needs to come education on how to cope. I suffered for longer than I needed to because I'd convinced myself that I could cope, when actually, I needed to talk things through to escape the blurred vision I had of life and find the beauty in it again. I did, but only because I found a way of talking, before it was too late. Sharing how we feel with family, partners, friends or even strangers, can do wonders for taking the weight off our shoulders.

It's great to see the BBC tackling these issues first hand, especially with young talent. It was all too familiar to watch as Stephen looks to camera and frustratedly exclaims, 'I'm crying again!' I s'pose filming these things is a form of therapy in itself, you spend enough takes talking about your feelings. I hope Manderson finds peace following this journey and that the programme will encourage others to travel a similar path.

I hope to see more programmes bringing the issues around mental health to the surface and encourage debate and conversation around mental health issues in the near future.

Tuesday 15 March 2016

Waste

If going to a theatre and watching 'nothing much happen' and hearing 'too much said' amongst a cast of predominantly middle-aged men who sit down a lot, then 'Waste' is definitely one for you.

nationaltheatre.org - Johan Persson Photography
For me, it certainly wasn't. The 1927 version of the piece is filled with waste, wasted opportunity to provide drama. There is the unfulfilled drama of adultery, of a potential illegitimate child, of a rumoured affair in parliament - but actually we see none of that. The adulterer dies before she becomes a problem, the child goes with her. The father of the child dies too and alas, all hopes of an explosive second act are well and truly dusted away into the wings. It seems that every bit of potential this piece has, is not actually written into the script. It is left away from the stage leaving us willing, begging even, for the action to wake us from our cramped-seat-slumber.

nationaltheatre.org - Johan Persson
I liked the set, I'll give it that. There was at least some attempt to make the piece interesting through its transitions, stylishly marking the four acts and allowing for a masked set-change. For those moments that we saw the set changes, props were moved by maids and directed by the butler, making it seem to be simply, part of the furniture. It was like a dance to watch as they swung their arms flamboyantly. It's a shame the leads didn't catch on, instead they remain almost static throughout the entire piece. I think a smaller stage might have suited it best. It felt unused and empty, leaving me feeling distant and unengaged.

nationaltheatre.org - Johan Persson Photography
Michael Elwyn gave an amateur performance as Horsham, with absolutely no convincing authoritative trait. Gerrard McArthur gave a stronger performance as Lord Cantilupe, using his stage presence to his advantage when plotting to join the front benches for the Disestablishment Act. Olivia Williams was a little too reserved as adulterer Amy O'Connell, her flirting not nearly loud enough to convince me of her character's amorous nature. Charles Edwards did the best he could with a script that gave him nothing but words, and no feelings to exercise. Although with a man who didn't care enough to love a woman, nor enough in losing a child yet hold a revolver to his head over his career - I couldn't have cared less that he'd met his end, making it very hard to sympathise with those left behind. Oh and for goodness sake, the mourning Walter only needs to say the word 'waste' once, stop making a long play longer with more unnecessary words. We all got the point quite quickly, the affair is going to ruin his career and his life. I didn't need further repetitive sentences to clarify what the entire play had been screaming at me: WASTED OPPORTUNITIES!!!

A whopping 140mins of dilly-dally-dialogue to delay the inevitable is enough to drive the audience to suicide too. Cut-throat it most certainly was not. My verdict: 'Waste' is a waste of time - or at least 2hrs and 40mins of it.

Life Inside 'Islamic State'


This was a great 17min animated short, created from the diary entries of one brave individual who kept track of daily life under Daesh rule. Where shopkeepers are taxed unlawfully, men are arrested for wearing trousers that are too long and women for failing to wear a veil. Where stoning to death is a just punishment and lashing and beheadings a daily occurrence. How can we possibly understand what it's like to live our lives like this?

bbc.co.uk
Animators Ross Plaskow and Scott Coello have done a brilliant job in portraying these scenes in ways that will not distance us as Westerners. It informs us, shows us only the humanity of the victims and does not aim to shock or turn us away from its content - which is important when all too many turn their backs on the problem. Not only are the drawings skilful, with the aid of dan Pollard's score, they are symbolic of the many meanings behind the look in a man's eye, of the acts of violence, of defiance and of despair.

bbc.co.uk
What came across most for me is the loneliness of a life in Raqqa. Attending any meetings in public places can see you accused of plotting against Daesh, you cannot see your friends, you cannot watch television to connect with the outside world, what can you do? There is nothing but the four walls of your home, and the sound and tremor of bombs dropping all around you. The world has deserted you. Our diarist is advised, 'Live your life without considering the present' - well what else can he do?

It is frustrating for me as a viewer as I too search for ways to act, to fight back, to help the civilians of Raqqa - but fail to come to any hopeful conclusion. All I can do is write this post and let someone somewhere know that I am thinking of them, that they are not forgotten, that they are not alone.

Find Life Inside 'Islamic State' on Iplayer, available until 9th April: http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p03lcxh7/life-inside-islamic-state