The Men With Many Wives

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Although the evidence placed before us in 'Men with Many Wives' is that women often want a polygamous marriage too, I still fail to see how they could possibly get anything out of the deal. Similarly, I see nothing more than a desire for more sex from the male perspective (although some say they don't, our marriage broker suggested that up to 80% of polygamous marriages were driven by sex) - which surely should not be a good enough reason to remarry. I'm open to the existence of polygamous marriages but as hard as I try, I cannot work out at all, what the female party gets from that relationship, and why women too are not allowed to find themselves four husbands, as men can find four wives!

With over 20,000 people existing as part of polygamous marriages in the UK at the time of broadcast, I really want to understand from the women what's in it for them. I myself have personal ties with those I know existing within a co-marriage and still cannot fathom reason as to why they would agree... and I think that's why the C4 documentary left me so frustrated. THERE IS NO REASON for so many wives... and I have an unhealthy obsession with reasons and answers to questions and findings.  

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The documentary itself progressed well until part four. Within just ten minutes they tried to cram in a half-hearted argument that said polygamous marriages aren't always positive, that they can break down and can leave some wives feeling as though they aren't wives at all. We meet independent mum Shaheen who is on her second husband and hasn't seen him for months. She is planning a divorce. Why was this part so rushed? It made no story-sense to enlighten us to this right at the end of the film when it could have been an interesting part of the story's development.

chennel4.com

They found some interesting male characters to follow, mainly Hasan with a need for third wife, marrying her without inviting his first two wives, although they were accepting of the marriage. He made it sound like he was doing a good thing by marrying her, in that she was older than the others and unlikely to get another match. He couldn't wait for her to meet the family on a day out at the park. Omar gave no better reason for marrying again than 'this is allowed' and his wife no more than 'I want to revive something that's dying out' (maybe it's dying out for a reason). It was an insight into their reasoning behind polygamy, which was after all, the film's objective but it just left me with the conclusion that it's just unnecessary. I wanted to know why and I wanted to hear more from the women! Instead we met with far too many male contributors telling us about their plans for other wives and were not given sufficient breathing space to explore the wives' opinions and beliefs or indeed if there are any benefits for them:

Tahir doesn't exactly give us confidence in the futures of his spouses: (http://www.newsshopper.co.uk/news/11497217.Greenwich_restaurant_owner_with_two_wives_shocks_Channel_4_viewers/?ref=mr)

Pointing to his two wives, he said one was good at cooking while the other was better at managing - making them a strong team in the restaurant He added: "They work together nicely".
His first wife Alikah went on to explain why she believes in polygamy, adding: "Normally in marriages, after five years, you get to know the true colours of each other and you start to take each other for granted." 
Mr Tahir is also part of The Obedient Wives Club, an Islamic organisation which, according to its website, teaches wives to "be submissive and keep their spouses happy in the bedroom".

It could have been more for me. The tone of the film allowed it so that I almost succeeded in not disapproving with polygamy at all but it just frustrated me that there doesn't seem to be a reason for it. I would have liked to have explored the failures of polygamy a little more to try to understand but instead it was sneaked in at the end and not given fair air time. The structure wasn't there for me. All in all, a great insight into a fading tradition, that allowed us to see the way that it works in relationships but not nearly enough effort to discover the reasons behind the marriages and the ups and downs of the relationships, particularly for the women. Too many contributors, not enough grit or insight into feelings for me.

I'll give it a 6/10.