Don Jon

Don John, labelled Shakespeare's most passive villain... who knew that his new reputation would stray towards being a long-suffering obsessive masturbator? Of course, the name bears no link to the Shakespearean character but in terms of Jon's 'problem', it seems to fit neatly among teenage males' belief that such an obsession with porn is in fact, a whole lot of 'Much Ado About Nothing'.

Written and directed by the beautifully moulded mind of Inception's Joseph Gordon-Levitt, it was rather a shock to see him take on such a potentially provocative role. In fact, it was maybe the darker and more twisted Levitt as seen during his early years in 'Mysterious Skin' and 'Brick'.

The film is rated as an 18 and it only takes us 30secs to work out why. Heavy panting, bouncing
breasts, breathless blondes and seductive sweaty faces staring into the camera lens with their mouths wide open - swiftly followed by Jon's confession of loving porn as part of his daily routine. He is, as he says, referred to as 'the Don' by pals and wingmen Danny & Bobby. I have to say I love the introduction of the porn sequence highlighting just how much it is a part of Jon's life, with the sound effect of a macbook turning on every time. You know it's coming, it becomes a symbol of what follows so much so that by midway through the film you don't always see the images onscreen but because you've heard the sound, you know Jon's done it again.


Jon is a religious man and has more sexual encounters (both with himself and a computer screen, as well as with women out of wedlock) to confess for. Perhaps instead he should pray to the porn Gods to show him a thing or two about real women, rather than the shameless acts of the 'ladies' onscreen. As Jon opens up his mind to real sex with the arrival of Barbara we see a change in the way that porn is viewed, bringing on an underlying derogatory view to the sound effect of the electronic porn-hub being turned on. With the arrival of Esther, we are not lectured that porn is bad, merely given the opportunity to introduce ourselves to the art of 'love-making' over a 'quick one' forcing us into all kinds of undesirable positions.

For example, Jon seems to be obsessed that real women do not match up to the porn personas of the female form. He insists that you expect a real woman to go down on you and enjoy a good twenty minutes - when in fact real women don't do that. No Jon, real women don't do that - believe or not boys it isn't your divine right, we like you to do some work too!

Esther, from Jon's night class is a character that doesn't hold back from making jokes about Jon's 'problem' to his face and for this we love her. She is unpredictable and strange, which seems a perfect match for our fantasy fanatic, Jon. Perhaps men just do spend too much time in a fantasy of porn induced expectation and fantasy football when they should really be focussed on what lies OUTSIDE of their computer screen.

Jon isn't all bad though, what with his road rage outbursts, mis-timed attempts at singing and ridiculous club-wear.  It reminded me that Jon was a normal guy - not to mention the likeness I have to him when angered by other drivers who fail to indicate! I enjoyed the release that these comedic moments gave me from a man I should really loathe for his expectation of the female role. Don't get me wrong, a woman can be as explorative and adventurous as she likes and enjoy it. I'm not suggesting that they should sit still and do absolutely nothing but when it is expected that a woman should act a certain way and anything else is just deemed a disappointment - well boys, disappointment it's always gonna be!

Leave the tank-tops at home Jon!

Credit where credit's due however, the storyline was fascinating and cast chosen perfectly. Scarlett Johansson, plays the perfect New York wonder woman, what with her exemplary talent of fluttering her eye-lashes and landing those seductive smiles. Well-endowed and full of attitude, we too are drawn to her red dress in a  dark club and drawn in further by the fact she turns Jon away. We are kept interested by the existence of a past that seems to have perhaps tamed her wild-side. Although, with cheeky fumbles leading Jon over-the-edge an left to fend for himself on the way home with some rather damp trousers... perhaps not. It is funny until we realise that with Jon's sister's only line, she is actually a crazy selfish woman who wants Jon to change for her when she won't for him. Well done sis!

Like Father - Like Son

The father, played by Tony Danza, was also perfect. There was enough likeness between him and Jon for it to be believable, as well as the inevitable father/son tension that seems to always surround football. The mother similarly casted to fit the persona of Barbara - they do say you search for partners like your parents!

So, for the most part, we are willing Jon to get over his addiction to online 'entertainment'. When he meets Esther, we suddenly will him to learn. She is laid back, she does not force things onto Jon, or us as an audience - she eases us in. She opens Jon's mind to the idea that 'love-mkaing' is where the satisfaction lies, not in the positions of a seemingly elastic female. It begins as an unlikely friendship that we wish that Jon would accept earlier. It grows, especially with the reveal that Barbara is in fact a bit of a cock-tease, into a relationship we want Jon to learn from. We see a gentler side, a submissive side that before he was not aware of. Jon is exploring, not Esther, and this makes it a newer and more satisfying encounter than it has ever been for him (and us).

It was not the ending we all expected. We expected Jon to get back with the busty blonde and somehow manage to open her mind to getting more adventurous. Instead, the film tames Jon beautifully. And who could play this beauty better than Levitt? Although I do think that perhaps even for me, there was a little too much focus on the fact that Levitt has a good body.

I'm hot

Have you seen my pecs?

Maybe this gives you a better view?

OK JON - WE GET THE POINT!

With it's unexpected ending, the storyline took us towards a climax we did not guess which actually made the film more satisfying. Perhaps we too, had failed to recognise that love-making was not necessarily going to be possible with the blonde. We are proud that Jon has travelled from this...

to this....

I give it a 6/10, purely as the content was not particularly my cup of tea but casting and storyline were good - And I got bored of seeing Levitt's torso!