Professor Green: Suicide and Me

'Suicide and me' does a lot for the image of mental health. Professor Green (Stephen Manderson) brings it within our reach, lets us know that even the best of us have a relationship with a struggle for self-worth and happiness.

sheerluxe.com

It certainly identified with me. I struggled with finding happiness when I first moved to London and even more in telling people how I felt. The day I knew I needed help was when I first self-harmed, which, alongside suicide and eating disorders, is one of the most misunderstood acts of depression, both by those who have inflicted it upon themselves, and by those who haven't. To those who cut, it's a coping mechanism, a symbolic image that separates the pain and channels your negative feelings. To those who don't, it's a sign of weakness, attention seeking, a cry for help. I would never have shown anyone my cuts, it was my way of coping not of seeking attention. Manderson does well to open up these kinds of conversations around suicide and throw away the taboo to discover the reality of what's going on inside. He discovers that although these acts are too often seen as selfish, to the sufferer, it is often the opposite. A way to make things better, to relieve the burden on their families, to end the negative cycle.

Stephen explores what happens when we are unable to speak up about our troubles and share them, as well as exploring the negative thought processes that can lead to suicide. Spaces like the Maytree play integral roles in changing the way we approach conversations around suicide and mental health issues. Showing approaches like this, is why this programme, among others, is so important. (http://www.maytree.org.uk/)

mirror.co.uk

There has to be change in the way we, as a society, tackle the hard times, talk about depression, about ill mental health, about suicide. Only by doing this, can we go any way towards preventing it. I've learned not to set the bar too high, not to expect anything and be happily surprised when good things come. I work hard, dedicate myself to projects, to my career, to my family, friends and my partner, who was the first person to really understand. I also allow more time for the things that I enjoy, like playing football and photography. I learned that 'It's ok to cry, it's ok to talk about it' as Manderson's relatives echo. Everyone has bad days, but the good days will come.

tv.bt.com

This isn't a review on the quality of the programme, but instead a view on the issue at hand. We can't keep quiet about suicide, keep suppressing our feelings, swallowing our words. The fear is that when we are exposed to self-harm and to suicide, we're more vulnerable to it. But with discussion, needs to come education on how to cope. I suffered for longer than I needed to because I'd convinced myself that I could cope, when actually, I needed to talk things through to escape the blurred vision I had of life and find the beauty in it again. I did, but only because I found a way of talking, before it was too late. Sharing how we feel with family, partners, friends or even strangers, can do wonders for taking the weight off our shoulders.

It's great to see the BBC tackling these issues first hand, especially with young talent. It was all too familiar to watch as Stephen looks to camera and frustratedly exclaims, 'I'm crying again!' I s'pose filming these things is a form of therapy in itself, you spend enough takes talking about your feelings. I hope Manderson finds peace following this journey and that the programme will encourage others to travel a similar path.

I hope to see more programmes bringing the issues around mental health to the surface and encourage debate and conversation around mental health issues in the near future.

Bear's Den

There's not a lot I can say about these guys other than I absolutely love them. Whilst working at the O2 Arena I heard them warm-up for Mumford & Sons and fell in love with their harmonies. Ever since I've been waiting for the chance to see them again and finally, the day came.

Support act Alex Vargas melted me with his incredible voice - bought his CD as soon as I'd heard his first track. What a talent, can't wait to see where he goes next. He was followed by 'Rukhsana Merrise' who I wasn't convinced by if I'm honest. Her voice sounded a little nasally and I wasn't entirely sure of her lyrics, mainly as there was no diction. But then, I was there for Bear's Den, so it passed the time whilst I was waiting I guess.


And then it came, the music slowly built,

BEAR'S DEN

the audience filtered closer to the stage

BEAR'S DEN

the lights got brighter

and then BOOM -

BEAR'S DEN.

The boys kept true to their spirit, performing a mix of tracks from their first EP 'Islands' and ending on a cover. They stuck to their folky roots and treated us to two acoustic performances, during which - the bar was closed - which shows just how unequivocal their magic is. The first used just a single mic onstage. For the second 'Bad Blood', the boys came out into the crowd and surrounded themselves with their fans - calming the entire of Shepherd's Bush Empire to silence after a stunning crowd participation with 'the clap (no not that kind) and a rendition of 'Agape'. The set even included some epic base distortion 'Sahara' and some sensational horns 'Think of England' and 'Elysium'.

It was impressive to see such a gathering of fans who really knew the music. It always feels great as a fan when you book tickets to a see a band that none of your friends have heard of and you turn up and are surrounded by other people like you, who can sing along to the lyrics with you. The strength of that was obvious in the boy's home-coming gig from their European tour. Even BBC Radio1's Greg James and one of my favourite actors Kris Marshall turned out to see them play - although I didn't want to be that kid that drew attention to them.

Their confidence in their own music and the vibe you get as a fan is just incredible. They are down to earth, charismatic, original, authentic chaps with a love for beautiful music and good lighting design. I can't wait to see where they go next and I think it's pretty safe to say, I'll go there too! Bring on the next album boys!

Find out more about 'Bear's Den' and their magical music here: http://www.bearsdenmusic.co.uk/store/

20,000 Days on Earth

‘20,000 days on Earth’ and Nick Cave has ceased to be human. He’s just one of those guys with his head in the clouds, swimming along nicely with his lyrical tide. But this film, shows another side to Nick Cave. A side of values and of honesty and of being human, despite his best efforts.

nickcave.com

smh.com.au

 The film masterfully merges reality and some inventive staged reality in a collage of performance archive, some very cinematic re-constructions, some extraordinarily sinister discussions in a car and a rather open interview with Cave. It seems that this in itself, is a statement about the kind of person Nick Cave is, he is his past, he is his music career, he is, who is he is – and that’s it.

 

sweetarchiveblog.com

The most beautiful moment for me is when Cave admits his deepest fears.

‘What do you fear?’

‘Losing my memory’

And when asked why, his simple answer is ‘memory is what we are’…and he’s right. I don’t think anyone’s ever got it so right.

theguardian.com

Throughout the film we are treated to a world of Cave’s memory. We hear about his relationship with his father, the kind of illusive yet doting parent you seem to find in any dance film or x-factor back-story only this time it is genuinely heart-wrenching to hear. We visit what seems like our film-makers archive, filled with Nick’s past, where he takes us through performances of the Bad Seeds and points out a particularly vivid memory of a German man urinating on the guitarist. If Nick’s greatest fear is losing his memory, he need only visit here to catch the tide back to his life in Brighton.

nypost.com

He is not a man of particular emotion, at least not visually but there's clearly a hell of a lot going on upstairs. He never seems fully present in any conversation. It’s almost like he is formulating lyrics in his head at the very same time that the moments before him become the memories he so adores. We see his persona spring to life at seeing and sharing the stories of his past, vividly recreated for us through archived images and film and yet simultaneously, Cave lives every one of his days in existential crisis, but manages by getting his head down, shutting out the world and writing something beautiful with it. 

blogs.indiewire.com

He is, on reflection, more human than we thought. He’s made mistakes, he’s grown up, he’s fallen in and out of love and ultimately he quite happily loses himself in a world where memories of all of this cease to be memories at all, they are turned into lyrics, put to music and actually begin to feel real again. The great thing about a seemingly candid interview with a star is that you see things you never knew, you find out that actually, beneath all of those well-known anthems, is a person and ’20,000 Days on Earth’ succeeds in saying something quite profound about the art of songwriting, as well as celebrating Cave for the oddball genius of a great that he is. 

collider.com

'American Interior' - Gruff Rhys

Whilst suffering the norovirus over Christmas (brilliant) moving from my mum's sofa was not an option. So I decided to pull out a pre-Christmas purchase from HMV and boy am I glad I did.

guardian.com

'American Interior' is a multi-media idea that follows the journey of two men: John Evans as he sets off in 1792 from Wales to America, and his great great grandson Gruff Rhys who embarks on a series of investigative concerts to discover what really happened when his ancestor set out to find a long lost Welsh tribe - The Madogwys - on whom the hopes of the nation rested.

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Gruff is wonderfully original with his ideas, taking along with him a puppet version of John Evans, a powerpoint presentation, a camera and of course, his music. It isn't about pushing his music, or about his show, or even just about his journey, it follows a very interesting journey of a man of the 18th century and we meet some intriguing living characters along the way. Who knew so many people spoke or had an interest in the Welsh culture over in the US? And perhaps most magically, in a tale shown only in black and white, we as an audience remain to see through to a truly colourful existence through endearing comedy and storytelling.

american-interior.com

As well as being a celebration of the path of the Missouri river and America's native history, Gruff manages to capture a love for the Welsh language and stimulate a feeling of pride for legend-loving Wales, that it has this story to share. As John Evans set out to find this long-lost Welsh tribe, he encountered many great things along his journey. He was the first man to map (most of) the Missouri river, which was the basis of the map drawn by Lewis and Clark, which continues to be the map we go by today. He wrestled with river reptiles and hunted bison with the Omaha tribe. He defected to the Spanish and was tasked with bargaining and mediating with the natives to claim territory, annexing North Dakota from the British. For a poor boyo from the valley (and boyo he was, at just 17 when he set off), it's not a bad adventure! The Great Plains and Nebraskan mountains of his trip may not have held the beckoning call of the Snowdonian summit, but John Evans really did make the US his home, living out his life until his death in St Louis. And as Gruff follows in his footsteps on his concert tour, we are delighted to meet existing members of tribes like those he may have met, such as the Mandan tribe.

londoncitynights.com

I feel that without even meaning to, Gruff has emanated a great celebratory feeling of discovery, of language and of culture. The Mandan tribe has only one fluent speaker left of the Mandan language and we meet a young man trying to learn as much as is possible before it is lost forever. With that man, dies the language and with only 500,000 Welsh speakers left in Wales, Gruff feels the threat is not only applicable to the tribe. (As a twice removed descendant of Wales I would absolutely love to learn the Welsh language, particularly if Gruff is teaching it - the next album maybe?)

It's a feel good film, one that doesn't proclaim to be anything more than it is, but that leaves you feeling as though it's a whole lot more. It's enchanting because it feels as though we are discovering the story with Gruff as he shares scrawled lyrics of half-finished songs with audiences along the way. It's a charming film with an equally grounding soundtrack, one that you can almost hear echoing around the black & white valleys of the Missouri river. It's exploratory spirit left me truly inflated with the big dreams of ordinary men.

undertheradarmag.com

And what's more, is that although I've told you half the findings, there is so much more to see and to explore and to learn!

An album, a hardback, a paperback and e-book, an app, a film - is this quite literally the best multi-platform/multi-media idea I've seen yet? Probably yes! (I think Sky Arts have missed the boat on this one) And one you should most definitely read, watch, listen to or respond to in any way that satisfies Gruff's next original idea. 

For more info on all these, head here: http://american-interior.com/film/

And be sure to look out for Gruff's valentine's day release 'Married 2 Me'!!!

Last Train to Tomorrow

Holocaust Educational Trust Regional Ambassadors

On Remembrance Sunday, 9th November, I rounded off a busy week with a trip with fellow HET Regional Ambassador Emma Raynor, to the Roundhouse, to see the premiere of the musical performance 'Last Train to Tomorrow' composed and conducted by the internationally acclaimed Carl Davis.

The evening fell on the 75th anniversary of Kristallnacht as the programme followed a dramatic and moving portrayal of the journey of the Kinder as they fled Nazi oppression over 70yrs ago. The evening held much resonance in the wake of the upcoming 70th anniversary of the liberation of many concentration camps, where many, if not all, relatives of the kinder were murdered. Prince Charles himself attended, after a busy remembrance Sunday schedule and met personally with those members of the kinder present at the premiere. Hosting the event, was Natasha Kaplinsky, also a member of the recently formed Prime Minister's Holocaust Commission. Perhaps most notably, members of the Kinder themselves were present and as the evening unfolded, with children singing and reenacting the difficult journey that came with Kindertransport, the audience were treated to an authentic performance with immensely powerful connotations as we sat side by side in the auditorium.

Children of the Choir

The voices of the children were remarkable. I don't want to be the one who says that they were sensational for their age, but they were. You just don't expect a flawless soprano to come from a 12yr old girl. There were of course a few whose vocals were perhaps not flawless, but it actually added to the authenticity of the journey, not knowing where they were going, who to speak to or quite how loud to speak out. It was incredibly moving to know that we shared this premiere with those who had lived through the ordeal, particularly as I have always had a great interest in the story of the Kinder, having grown-up in the hometown of a man known by all at the roundhouse that evening, Sir Nicholas Winton.

Last Train to Tomorrow

After the show I ran into Hermann Hirschberger a member of the Kinder, whom I've seen at many events but I've never had the pleasure of speaking to him. He spoke very highly of the performance and said he'd see me at the next event. I'll hold him to that! The premiere meant a great deal to the kinder and all wanted a souvenir programme but they very very quickly ran out. I gave mine to the grandson of one of the Kinder as I figured it meant a lot more to him than it would to me. But for all those still left without one, you can now send a cheque of £5 to AJR to receive one as they're printing more: http://www.ajr.org.uk/latest-news/article.1421

A really wonderful evening that carried me away with emotion and left me astounded by the talents and the courage of so many children, both past and present. A proud moment for British history and one that will help continue to carve the legacy of the wonderful people who made Kindertransport possible. A moment I'm very much glad to have been a part of in some way.